DASFO

The above statement is indeed true. I do love clocks.

However, I think this website I’m about to show you is pretty darn stupid. It’s called Kukuklok, which is a name better fit for a white supremacy clock company than an avid internet alarm enthusiast’s adventure.

The point of the website? It does what an alarm clock does. You set the time for it to wake you up, and pick one of the 4 horrible noises, and it goes off when you set it for. It even stays functional if your internet dies.

…

Wow. Seriously?

For one, if you sleep with your computer on, you’re wasting valuable energy which is going to rack up your bill and steal it from other deserving people on your power grid. No wonder California has so many power problems. It’s probably because their immense population all wake up with the Klu Klux Klok. Turn off your computer when you sleep. Yeah, your Limewire downloads will have to restart in the morning, but I promise you will survive. Energy efficiency is good.

Second, if you can afford a computer, you should be able to afford an alarm clock. If you’re traveling, and you manage to lug around a computer, you should be able to lug around a tiny little alarm clock. Or a wristwatch. They’re less than $10 and they make beeping noises when you want them. No they don’t make pathetic guitar noises, or the sound of “Electronic” ( At least now we know what “Electronic” sounds like ), but you will wake up. I bet you even have a cell phone. Then there’s no need for a clock even.

Finally, what is this guy getting at? What’s the point? Does anyone really wake up to this thing? He’s wasting bandwidth and server space on something that people think is a good idea on the surface, but fail to reach deeper down and discover the stupidity of this idea. He’s not serving up ads. He’s just an idiot, for thinking that the internet needs something like this. Sorry for the anger. But, the internet has limitations. Your car is not a shaver. You can’t wash yourself with a cell phone. It’s the same kind of concept. Heck. At least let us download your clock, since you need to access it via internet to let it load. Make it into a Vista Widget, which is equally as useless but at least more practical.

Whatever. This clock is the reason why DASFO is launching it’s endorsement for alarm clocks that don’t require internet access.

That’s right folks! You read correctly. Introducing an alarm clock that doesn’t even need the internet!

Wow Zac, sounds awesome. How does it work?

Well eager prospective customer, you simply buy one, put some batteries in it, set the time you want to wake up, and it will make a noise when that time comes that will possibly wake you up.

That really is great Zac, where can I get one?

Right here. For an unlimited time, DASFO is bringing you alarm clocks that aren’t stupid! That’s right. We’ve got actual alarm clocks for you to buy from Amazon.com that make excellent gifts for anyone who ever thought the online clock was the greatest thing since sliced bread. They wake you up on time, and they stay functional even if your computer implodes while you sleep.

We’ve got for your shopping pleasure, a spiffy Sony alarm clock that looks cool, and is cheap too. As well as a Dinosaur alarm clock. Look. It doesn’t get better than that. Or does it? A Darth Vader alarm clock? Wow. And even one of those fancy wristwatch things I was talking about earlier. Amazing. But wait, we’ve held back our secret weapon. Or rather, our Sonic Bomb weapon/clock. Not only does this thing explode your ear drums with 113 db of adjustable volume, it shakes your bed.

Now take that, chew it off, and suck on it Kukuklok. We’ve just one upped you, and we didn’t even have to make one. Happy clocking.

Luke, I am your alarm clock.